When You Lose, You Win
by Forever Snape
Summary: Remus, what's the point of trying? We all lose at the end any way. Yes, but sometimes when you lose you win... The Great War has ended Voldemort is dead, but so are Harry and Ron. Hermione sinks into a deep depression and needs support. On hold.
1. In which Remus returns to Hogwarts

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Nothing! Do you hear me??? lawyers cease knocking on front door  
  
Sorry! I swear I'll finish my other stories by August 26th. This plot bunny just bit me in the butt though, so...yeah. In any case, this is going to be pretty angsty and somewhat corny at points. Just warnin' ya now so that you don't flame me. ; )

Remus looked out of the window of the Hogwarts Express and watched the green hillsides splattered by rain roll by underneath the gray sky. It seemed to him that every year he went to Hogwarts on business, it was always raining on the train ride there. 'An omen, perhaps?' he mused stroking his chin. But he quickly pushed that aside as he remembered Trelawney. Besides this ride was different than the last. For this ride, he was alone in his compartment; the Golden Trio was not with him. They had graduated and moved on to better, more promising things...well at least one of them did. "Hogwarts, five minutes." The conductors voice magically sounded over the entire train. Remus gathered his belongings and prepared to step off the train to meet his future.

Hermione looked out of the window of her tower. "Fan-bloody-tastic," Hermione turned to Crookshanks. "More lovely English rain. Won't help my mood a lot, will it?" It didn't take much to see all the scattered bodies that used to fill the fields surrounding Hogwarts after the Great War in which Voldemort was destroyed. "Come Crooks. I need to go pick out a nice big book. Who knows, maybe I'll find something on illusions caused from traumas..." Hermione left the room to retire to her one solace: the library.

Remus entered the Great Hall marginally ahead of the rest of the students, as he was a teacher. He looked up at the Teacher's Table and scanned the tired looking faces conversing with others next to them. 'Minerva, Albus, Hermione...wait, Hermione? Hmmm, I would have thought she would become an auror. I wonder what subject she is teaching.' He took a closer look at her weary face that displayed age and extreme tragedy. 'Ah, the memory of the Great War has taken a great toll on all of us, but it has taken a greater one on Miss Granger.' He could still remember the fatal night the War ended...

_****_

_**Flashback  
**Voldemort moved closer to Harry. 'Look around you, Potter.' Harry looked and saw almost all the members of the Order dead around him along with nearly all the first, second, and third year students and some fourth, fifth, and sixth years. Ginny... Voldemort continued. ' Do you seriously think you can defeat me? All of those "experienced" mudblood lovers have tried and died. You're a puny eighteen year old worm of a half-blood who has had no experience with real power and real battle.' Harry gripped his wand tighter as Voldemort inched closer to him. 'I had fun killing your mother Harry. Even now, her scream is still music to my ears.' Harry ground his teeth together in utter anger. 'However, I would wish to hear a more musical scream...watch Potter. Say good-bye to your little mudblood. AVADA KEDAVRA!' Hermione did not hear the fatal curse as she was dueling Narcissa Malfoy ferociously. Ron, however, did. With one bound, he leapt to push Hermione out of the way and was killed instantly. 'RON!' Harry and Hermione's voices combined with this one word. Hermione immediately killed the distracted Mrs. Malfoy and rushed over to Ron and cradled his head. Harry was distraught and filled with anger. He did not move from his spot, as he was too shocked at the death of his best friend. Voldemort laughed with delight. 'I missed the mudblood, but just as well. You can see her die next.' 'No you bastard. You killed one of my best friends already. It's your turn now. AVADA KEDAVRA!' Harry screamed out as Voldemort cast his curse. Two green lights hit simultaneously and two bodies collapsed in a heap as a screeching noise hit the air. This noise covered Hermione's scream of Harry and also knocked all of the Death Eaters unconscious. The Order won the War, but not the battle.  
**End Flashback**  
_

Remus shook his head and took a seat next to Hermione. She turned to him and smiled sadly. "Hello Remus. It's good to have you back. You've always been a favorite teacher especially of Harry's..." A sob escaped as she still had the War on her mind too. Remus said naught but three words of 'it's alright Hermione' before pulling her into a hug of comfort for him and her. But when the students began to enter he released her and she did not say a word to anyone the rest of evening. Nor did she eat.

This is my first Remus/Hermione. It's not too bad...a little weird at some points, but whatever. Review! Reviews...they are the food of the soul.


	2. The Dog Star and Draco Malferret

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nothing! Do you hear me?!!  
  
Okay...it's late at night again. Late at night as in 1:13 at night. Or would you say morning...? Whatever. Notes for you reviewers at the end of the chapter.  
  
_**Last Chapter...**  
  
Remus said naught but three words of 'it's alright Hermione' before pulling her into a hug of comfort for him and her. But when the students began to enter he released her and she did not say a word to anyone the rest of evening. Nor did she eat.  
  
**This Chapter...**_  
  
Hermione stood from the Teacher's Table and excused herself a bit before dinner ended. Seconds later, Remus followed her silently. As she walked down the halls, Hermione began muttering to herself. Remus could only catch a few words: "bloody War...tears...wish...died." Remus began to try to reach her a bit quicker after he heard this. Hermione began walking up the long, tiresome stairs to the astronomy tower with Remus closely following her.

She finally reached the top and stopped when she reached the railing. "There it is. The Dog Star. The brightest star in the sky...Sirius. Dead like all the others. I wonder if there is a star in the sky for each of those who died..." Hermione talked out loud to herself, unconscious that Remus was standing in the shadows and listening to every word she said. "I'm not going to cry, I'm not going to cry. Crying won't help anything at all. It won't help a-"Hermione was interrupted by Remus.

"It will make you feel better," he walked over to her and lifted her chin toward him. "No. I've done enough crying." Hermione turned her body towards him. "Wait," she muttered. "Why are you here? Did you think I was going to commit suicide? Hmmm? 'Oh poor little Hermione dropped into depression after the death of her two best and practically only friends so she's not going to use her brain and she's going to commit suicide'. Is that what you think?" Hermione, who had been pacing, turned towards Remus.

Remus looked down at the ground. "Well, Hermione, I just wanted to see if you were okay. You know it's not easy los-" "Of course it's not bloody easy! I know that! I just lost my two best friends! What do you think? You probably have no idea what I'm going through! You just have your damned chocolate and –" Hermione stopped when she realized what she said and saw Remus' expression. "I'm terribly sorry Remus. I-I had no right to say that. You probably know exactly what I'm going through ten times over."

Remus said nothing. He just sat down on the ground and put his head in his hands. Hermione stood and looked down on him until his shoulders began to shake. "Remus, it's okay. Shh." She wrapped her arms around him and stroked his head lovingly. Eventually, Remus' shoulders stopped shaking and after mouthing a thank you to Hermione, they sat in solemn but comfortable silence on the dark astronomy tower and watched the night pass into a beautiful promising sunrise.  
  
**_The Next Morning..._**  
  
Hermione walked into the Great Hall the next morning to see everyone already half-way through breakfast. Taking her seat next to Albus, she pulled the mug of coffee towards her and poured herself a cup. "Good morning, my dear. Do you feel better?" Albus turned toward Hermione with that same damned twinkle in his eye. Hermione looked at him, saw the twinkle, scowled a scowl that could rival Severus Snape's, and grunted in reply.

She then looked up and around at the Great Hall. Many young faces stood out in the crowd. They were innocent faces that belonged to the small first years; the ones who had only heard about the Great War that occurred at Hogwarts. The ones who now made up nearly half of Hogwart's population of students and eighty percent of Slytherins. After the War, many Slytherins were dead or in an orphanage. The only few Slytherins that were not first years in Hogwarts were one seventh, sixth, and fifth year, and no fourth, third, and second years. The other thirteen were first years. The Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff table had forty and thirty students, respectively, to add to that number. The Gryffindor table had only twenty to add to the Slytherin's head-count of students. Hermione suspected that Ravenclaw had the most students left as they were of the studious nature and therefore knew more curses and hexes to defend themselves with.

Hermione was jolted out of her thoughts of the students by the soft grandfatherly voice of Dumbledore. "Ah, Hermione, before I forget, which I do a lot, and with everything...you know once I forget-" Hermione gave him the "teenager" look (as parents are oft to call it) and raised an eyebrow. Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Another time perhaps. In any case, I would like to introduce you to our new Potions Master as Severus had requested the need for retirement. I believe you know Draco."

Hermione jumped as a hand was laid on the head of her chair. She turned and saw none other than Draco Malfoy. "Hm. Speak of the devil. Yes Albus. I do know him. Quite well, in fact." Hermione turned to glare at said 'devil'. "Why did you hire him?" "Well, Hermione, everyone deserves a second chance-"Dumbledore was cut off by Hermione. "Second chances! Hah! Like this-this-thing deserves such. I'm afraid I have just remembered some unfinished business, Headmaster."

Hermione stood and turned to glare at Dumbledore. "If you'll excuse me." Hermione marched off, bumping into Remus who had just arrived. "Hermione, what-?" Remus turned to her as their shoulders collided. "Be seeing you, Remus." Hermione continued to storm out as Remus watched her. He made his way up to the Teacher's Table and saw Dumbledore talking to Draco Malfoy. 'I see why she stormed out...they have to resolve it sometime, however. I shall go talk to her.' Breakfast forgotten, Remus turned and began to walk to Hermione's room.

Well, there we go. A little more angst and a suspicious conflict between Malferret and Hermione. I would like to thank my beta, Paul, for correcting this and the last chapter. Now for the reviews.  
  
Rane2920072- Thanks! She won't try and kill herself. I'll try not to make her cry to much either, because it just pisses me off how  
Hermione is displayed in some stories as weak. Hope you enjoy this chapter! Ruby Malfoy- I tried to emphasis her depression just a little more. It'll get stronger though, as the conflict between Malferret and Hermione  
continues. But if you have any suggestions...I'm open.  
  
Thank you all for reading my story and for some of you reviewing. Review please!


	3. Scars

Hello again. Sorry it takes me a while to update. My beta checks it as quick as he can, but it still takes awhile. Anyways, reviews down at the bottom and I will just go ahead and write this chapter. This one will be very fun...  
  
Last Chapter...  
  
Hermione continued to storm out as Remus watched her. He made his way up to the Teacher's Table and saw Dumbledore talking to Draco Malfoy. 'I see why she stormed out...they have to resolve it sometime, however. I shall go talk to her.' Breakfast forgotten, Remus turned and began to walk to Hermione's room.  
  
This Chapter...  
  
Remus knocked on Hermione's door. "Hermione? Are you in there? Open up." "Go to dinner Remus," responded a tired, but forceful voice inside. "I'm not hungry; I'll go to the kitchens later." "Then go to the kitchens. Go anywhere. Just leave me alone." Hermione whispered. Her voice was soft, but with Remus' heightened senses, he could hear her. "Hermione..." Remus began pacing. "Tell me what is wrong. I know something is. You have to tell someone sometime."

That apparently did the trick, as Hermione opened her door. Remus took one look at her pale, angry face and let himself into her room. She just went and sat down in the red chair on the left side of the fire. Remus took the one on the right. "Now Hermione, I know that you are upset, but-" Remus stopped at Hermione's glare. 'Wrong approach, ' Remus thought. Immediately, he tried to counter his first approach. "Well, about I just get us a cuppa and you can tell me exactly what is bothering you."

Remus rose and moved toward the small kitchens in her room to procure the tea. Hermione, on the other hand, just looked sullenly over toward her bedroom on the other side of the room. When he returned with the tea, Hermione looked at him, but she still said nothing until she had her tea and Remus had given her a small gesture of comfort. When Hermione spoke at long last, she spoke slowly and somewhat deliberately. "So you want to know what caused the, shall we say, 'bad blood' between Malferret and I, hmm?" Remus nodded slowly and tried to make sure that it wasn't one of those encouraging nods that often discouraged a person instead of completing its purpose. Hermione fiddled with her dress and went on. "Well, do you remember the day I disappeared? Even though you weren't teaching I know that you knew because Harry owled you. In any case, I was taken by Malfoy and his cronies. Not the younger Malfoy, but Malfoy senior...  
  
_**Flashback**  
  
Hermione walked along the lake and sat on the grass to watch the giant squid ripple the lake's smooth glass-like surface. She sat absorbed in her thoughts about a certain person...Suddenly she heard a stupefy and all went dark. _

_She woke, or was rather 'ennervate'-d when she was chained to a wall. The dungeon door had just been closed. She felt for her wand. It was not their and neither was the bread she had stolen from dinner to feed to the squid. Fortunately, she had not been undressed and was still allowed to keep her dignity...at least for the moment. _

_The door to the dungeon creaked open slowly and that was when she was able to see the torture tools- hot pokers, chains, whips, etc.- that had been laid out on a large metal table. Before she could notice anymore a tall man stepped in with another man who was not much smaller. Hermione only recognized them when she heard their voices. _

_"What's the surprise, father? You're not going to beat-" "Shh, Draco. Our...guest...is awake. I think you will rather enjoy this. Lumos." _

_Immediately, the dungeon was filled with light. Hermione blinked rapidly as her pupils shrunk. She saw Draco stop short and stare in utter surprise, but quickly recover. _

_"Father, what is the mudblood doing down here?" "She is the surprise. I have decided that you should begin learning the methods of torture as you will soon join our Lord's service. Miss Granger here is the perfect guinea pig." Now Draco could not hide his surprise and complete horror. Malfoy senior did not see him though; he was too busy preparing the branding iron. __"Now Draco, come here. I assume that you know how to use this." "Draco nodded. "Make me proud to have you as a son." _

_With a look of apology and utter horror on his face, Draco turned to Hermione, sent his apologies to her through his mind, and began to brand and 'experiment' with the torture weapons. Hermione, however, had fainted as soon as she felt the heat on her skin. She figured it was better to faint than to show them how much they were hurting her through the branding**.  
  
End Flashback**  
  
_"I woke up in the hospital the next day and was hospitalized for a while until Madam Pomfrey was sure that I would not sink into the deepest of depressions after the incident. Although it probably wouldn't have mattered if she kept me there or not to ensure my mental health, because the Great War was the very next day after I was released and that has ruined me as you can see," Hermione looked down at the hole she had picked in her dress.

"Do you still have..." Remus asked slowly and trailed off, afraid of upsetting her. "Yes. It was very strong dark magic that was cast on the weapons and...tools. The whip marks are still on my back, the branding is still on my...the left side of my chest, and the other wounds are still there. I suppose you have it worse though. I mean your wounds..."

"My wounds heal because of my advanced healing system. I don't even have the memories of the wounds." Remus moved to her and grasped her elbow by which he moved her over to the small couch. He kept his arm around her shoulders in a comforting hug until he heard a knock on the door. "I have to go-"Hermione moved to get up. "No, you stay here. I'll get it." When Remus reached the door, he opened it and had an immediate thought of 'it's a very good thing I opened the door.' For there in the doorway stood none other than...  
  
You probably know who it is, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

Rane2920072- I love your idea! That is what I think I will do in the next chapter! Your answer is above and you'll find out what she teaches in probably the next chapter...

Please review! And a thank you to Paul for being my beta.


	4. Malferret, the punching bag

Disclaimer: Leave me alone! I don't own anything! Go sue yourselves! (Get it, go screw yourselves, go sue yourselves. cricket never mind.)  
  
Hello again! This is going to be a rather short chapter because I am right in the middle of writing an essay titled 'An Essay on the Magical World of Harry Potter a.k.a. An Essay Completely Crushing the Possible Existence of the Magical World of Harry Potter'. But I remembered all of you out there waiting for me to update. So I am. Reviews at the end, as usual. Warning; severe Malferret bashing in this chapter. Oh, and please be kind reviewing. I'm making a lot of these spells up. If you want to translate them, they are Italian.  
  
**_Last Chapter _**

_"I have to go-"Hermione moved to get up. "No, you stay here. I'll get it." When Remus reached the door, he opened it and had an immediate thought of 'it's a very good thing I opened the door.' For there in the doorway stood none other than...  
  
**This Chapter **_

Draco Malfoy. Remus' face contorted with extreme anger. He hauled back and punched the surprised Malfoy in the mouth. Hermione turned to Remus who was standing still standing in the doorway and now shouting. "Who is..." she began asking, until she saw Draco. "Why you little...!" In one great bound, Hermione leapt up from the couch and in a split second was standing in front of Remus and shouting at Draco. "Do you know what you did to me? Hmm? Look at this!" Hermione turned around and pulled the back collar of her shirt down just enough to show the slightest bit of the whip marks on her back. Remus grimaced while Malfoy backed up a little.

Hermione turned back around. "I am stuck with those reminders for life now. Therefore, it is only fair that I get to hex you until the apocalypse! Expelliarmus!" With that word, Hermione began her hexing. "Galleggiante aria! Now then... Frusta incantata!" With this, Draco was suspended in the air and was being whipped by two long whips. "But Hermione, I- ow, dammit –need to –gah- talk to- shit that hurt -you." Draco said in between whippings. Remus was too surprised by this sudden vicious nature of Hermione's to do anything, so he stood and watched with wide eyes and a horrified expression. Hermione continued with her hexing. Draco now had pin cushion arms with dozens of pins poking them and a heavy object taking swipes at his head (which Draco was continually ducking) along with his other before ailments. "This one you are especially going to enjoy!" Hermione took her wand and pointed it to Draco's nether regions. "Rimuova l' org-"

Remus now thought that she was going a little too far and stepped in front of her, blocking her view of the cringing Malfoy. "Hermione! Don't!" Hermione lowered her wand slowly while looking Remus in the eye. Remus looked back down into hers with compassion and complete understanding. Hermione decided that she could not take it, so she slowly lifted her wand once more, took the enchantments off Draco, and dropped her head against Remus' shoulder. "Shh, it's alright. He's almost punished enough. It's alright. Now how about we haul Professor Malfoy off to the infirmary, love." Hermione looked up at him at his last word, but Remus just quickly turned away and, after punching and kicking him in the stomach a couple more times and (with much pleasure) breaking his jaw and his arm, he began levitating the unconscious, bruised, and bleeding Draco off to the infirmary where, when he was awake, much would be sorted out.  
  
I'm sorry it's so short! I have to continue writing the essay though...in any case, the reviews. Rane2920072- I think that I made her completely kick his ass this chapter. I'll tell you what she teaches the chapter after next. Thanks!

lanna1186- I would have had him punch the shit out of Malfoy, but I got your review just when I finished the chapter! Sorry and thanks!  
  
Review please! And thank you Lord Pauldemort for being my beta.


	5. Mr Malfoy's Toture Dungeon

Disclaimer: I'm not J.K.  
  
Hey. It is I. The mood of this chapter is somewhat angsty. It is also kind of long (at least for me) to make up for the last chapter. Enjoy! ...on second thought, beware! Reviews at the end.  
  
**_Last Chapter_****_  
  
"Shh, it's alright. He's almost punished enough. It's alright. Now how about we haul Professor Malfoy off to the infirmary, love." Hermione looked up at him at his last word, but Remus just quickly turned away and, after punching and kicking him in the stomach a couple more times and (with much pleasure) breaking his jaw and his arm, he began levitating the unconscious, bruised, and bleeding Draco off to the infirmary where, when he was awake, much would be sorted out._**   
  
**_This Chapter_**  
  
Draco awoke in the infirmary with a headache that could beat a hangover from a full bottle of Firewhiskey. He groaned and turned on his side only to yelp in pain because of the bruises from Hermione's 'whips of death'. So he turned onto his other side and came face to skirt with Madam Pomfrey. "I told you not to move! Lie still!" Draco quickly turned over onto his back so that she would stop talking so loud and hopefully leave him alone. The mediwitch quickly forced a potion to his lips; he drank it and almost immediately, his headache disappeared. He blinked rapidly a couple of times to clear the blurriness from his eyes and saw Hermione and Remus sitting in the corner of the room. Draco turned to Madam Pomfrey. "Can I talk to them?" He pointed to Hermione and Remus.   
She glanced at him with suspecting eyes. "Is your headache gone?" "Yes, completely. Thank you." Madam Pomfrey sighed, rolled her eyes, and then grudgingly gave him permission. She went over and ushered them over to Draco's bedside and conjured two chairs for the visitors. Draco could still see the hate in Hermione and Remus' eyes.   
"I'll explain everything to you. I'm going to start from the beginning, and if you want to hear my entire tale, you will not interrupt." He sat up, propped up his pillows, settled back into them, and began his story with Remus and Hermione leaning back in their chairs. "Malfoy manor was intended to be a place of honor and richness...it may have been full of richness but it was never honorable as my ancestors had intended it to be. When I was ten years old, my father took me around the entire castle and into places that I was never allowed to go before..."  
  
**_Flashback_** _  
  
Lucius shoved a young Draco downstairs. Narcissa Malfoy could be seen sitting and sewing on one of the plush chairs in the parlor. 'My lord, where are you going?' she put down her sewing and looked up at him. He sneered at her and answered. 'It is none of your business, but if you must pry I am going to give Draco a...tour...of the estate.' Narcissa's eyes grew wide and she went over to him and kneeled, grabbing the edges of his robes. 'No...he is too young! Please!' He kicked her aside and watched as her head hit the hard, cold marble floor.____  
Narcissa lay still for awhile until Lucius began to drag Draco away with him. It was then that she raised her head and cried out. 'No! I won't let you! He is my son! I won't let you!' Young Draco was puzzled as to why his mother was objecting to a tour of the estate. He watched with wide eyes as his father dropped his bruising grip on his wrist and turned on his mother.___  
_'What did you say?' Lucius stalked over to his wife and towered over her. 'NO!' she screamed out. He growled and ground her head on the floor with his foot. Narcissa began to cry and she looked at Draco with terrified sapphire eyes. Draco looked back at her with horror written all over his face. He would never forget those eyes. They were eyes of sadness, despair, terror; they were eyes that bore into your soul and burned your very being._   
_Before he knew what he was doing, young Draco ran over to mother and kicked his father's foot off her head. 'Don't touch her!' he cried out. Lucius only grinned evilly, took out his wand, and blasted his only son into a marble wall. It wasn't enough to kill him or knock him out but it was enough to leave him in excruciating pain._

_ Bleary-eyed, he watched his father grasp a copper statue from a small table and hit Narcissa in the gut. She cried out and kneeled in pain. Draco was horrified as he watched his father strike his mother again and again in the stomach. This event would be worse for him later when he would later find out that his mother was pregnant at this time. Eventually, she did not try to get up.   
Lucius then put the statue down and drew his wand out. 'Crucio!' Narcissa screamed out in pain and soon collapsed from the strain. Lucius then killed her and banished her body. He turned to the young, cowering Draco. 'Let that be a lesson to you. Weakness shall not be endured in this Manor. Come.'   
Draco wiped his eyes when his father turned his back to him and rose as quickly as he could so he would also be spared.   
Later (still the Flashback)  
Lucius and Draco stood at the entrance of the dungeons. Greenish bruises in the shape of fingers were now clearly visible on Draco's pale skin. 'Come.' Lucius grabbed Draco's bruised wrist and dragged him down the dark stairs. At the end, he tripped and fell on his head.   
Lucius walked on ahead, stepping on Draco's hand. But young Draco rose, with blood pouring down the right side of his face, and followed his father. Suddenly, he noticed a faint sound that sounded like a scream...no, several screams...whatever it was, it continuously grew louder and louder.   
Eventually, they stopped at a thick brown door. Lucius grinned maliciously and then opened the door. Behind the door was a large room. Blood stained the floor around two large stone tables in the center of the room. Two men with their backs to the Malfoy's had a table of torture tools between them. Draco saw a person lying on each of the stone tables and quickly looked somewhere else, having decided that he had seen enough blood.   
But on the circular walls of the dark room was more blood from families consisting of old men and women, husbands and wives, and young children chained to the wall. Some had lost limbs and many were blind and had burnt skin.   
Lucius proudly turned to Draco, who quickly made his horror-stricken face neutral. 'This will all be yours someday, my son.' Draco backed up and bumped into a woman that had the expression in her eyes that Narcissa had when she was dying. He quickly flung open the door and fled. Lucius ran after him. When he finally caught up with Draco, he flung him to the ground. 'You will follow in my footsteps. You will not be weak like your mother. It looks like your lessons shall begin...' And then Lucius Malfoy began giving his only son his 'lesson', or rather beating.  
**  
End Flashback**___

Hermione had tears rolling down her face and a fist was held over her mouth. Remus had horror written over his face and he held his head in his hands. "So you tortured me so that you wouldn't get beaten?" Draco turned away from them onto the side that he had been whipped. The pain he felt in his heart outweighed that in his side. "That and so my father wouldn't beat you. I was actually too easy on you, according to him." Hermione turned and buried her face in Remus' shoulder and cried silently for herself, for Narcissa, for Harry, for Ron, and most of all for Draco.  
  
Geez. That was extraordinarily depressing. I need to get a life, or some help. Sorry. I kind of got carried away. In any case, review. Flames are welcome for this chapter. I probably deserve it for destroying Draco's life. And thanks to Lord Pauldemort for being my beta. And now for reviews. lanna1186- Thank you! I'm flattered! This chapter wasn't that funny though. Heh, heh.   
Lonelyfairy- Thank you! I'm glad you loved it! But I think that you maybe have changed your view somewhat on if he really deserved the beating...   
s.s.harry- Yes, poor, poor Malferret. But I don't know if you really want his...manhood...removed anymore. 


	6. When You Lose, You Win

Disclaimer: Give it a rest. see chapter 1.  
  
Hello! Thank you all for reviewing. I got four reviews in one day! I'm so happy! Here is another chapter for ya'll. The romance is introduced at this chapter. I would like to apologize ahead of time for the pathetic- ness of this chapter. I got yelled at by my editor for it. I quote, "GOD DAMMIT OPHELIA, NO ROMANCE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!" But I yelled back at him and told him not to yell at a lady. Sorry, let's just move onto the chapter. Reviews at the bottom, as usual. P.s. Don't expect a chapter for another week My beta's going on vaca.

**_Last Chapter...  
  
_**_Hermione had tears rolling down her face and a fist was held over her mouth. Remus had horror written over his face and he held his head in his hands. "So you tortured me so that you wouldn't get beaten?" Draco turned away from them onto the side that he had been whipped. The pain he felt in his heart outweighed that in his side. "That and so my father wouldn't beat you. I was actually too easy on you, according to him." Hermione turned and buried her face in Remus' shoulder and cried silently for herself, for Narcissa, for Harry, for Ron, and most of all for Draco.  
  
**This Chapter...**_

Hermione walked down the corridors of Hogwarts. The usual weather of Scotland, rain, was pounding on the windows as Hermione whispered her password to the picture of a young seven-year-old girl that was guarding her rooms. Hermione stumbled in and walked straight to her bedroom to retrieve Crookshanks, who was just in the middle of a nap. Hermione was distraught, however, so she didn't really notice the scratch marks the cat gave her arms when she awoke him.   
"Oh, Crooks." The woman walked over to a window showing the dismal surroundings of her only home and sat down on a chair in front of it. "Why do we have to be exposed to violence? Why can't we all just stop growing when we are around seven years old?" Hermione stroked her cat while her thoughts drifted to the young girl in the painting outside her rooms. She thought of how young and innocent the girl looked; she had probably never been experienced to violence ever. If evil was around her, she was protected by adults. Almost all young girls like the one in the painting would be shielded from the real world as long as possible. They would never see war, death, destruction, and the other bad cards that life deals to the poor and hopeless.   
"I wish I were still innocent Crooks; I wish that I had never had to see Ron and Harry die so awfully." Hermione leaned to whisper in her cat's ear. "Sometimes I wish that I had never been born at all."   
"I don't think that you really mean that." Hermione jumped suddenly at the sound of a deep voice behind her. Poor Crookshanks, who was just about to go to sleep, was awakened again when he fell off his mistress' lap. Hermione turned to see Remus. "I do wish that you wouldn't do that." Hermione sent him a frustrated glare. "You wish a lot of things Hermione that don't and won't always happen." Remus reached for Hermione's hand and pulled her up to lead her to a couch.   
When they were seated, Hermione lit a fire and stared into it's dancing, flickering flames. "Remus, what's the point of trying? We all lose in the end anyways." Remus touched her chin gently and raised it toward him. "Yes, but sometimes when you lose, you win." Hermione smiled for a split second before she stared into the flames again. "And how did I win this time, Remus?" "You've won in many ways, Hermione. You have won one thing which you have sought for for all these years. Knowledge."   
Hermione stood and looked at him. "Yes, I looked for knowledge, the knowledge of good. I always thought good wins, evil vanishes. It doesn't work like that." She turned towards the fire. "Good wins, but evil lasts forever in the minds of the good. It never leaves. It stays there and slowly drives you mad with grief and pain until you just want to end the suffering." Remus' eyes held a heartrending look in his eyes as he remembered all the events in his life that proved Hermione's words; therefore, he did not see Hermione slide a knife off the fireplace mantle. He did hear her words though: "Just end it."   
Remus decided to make the wise decision of saying nothing; instead, he just pulled Hermione, who had let go of the knife, onto the couch beside him. She curled up against his muscular shoulder and rested her head against him. Softly he stroked her head and tangled his fingers in her hair thoughtlessly. Both said nothing, for they were lost in their thoughts of the future, the past, and the present; all of which were clouded in the densest of fogs. All of the fog was dark, but the future had the darkest fog. Hermione was beginning to wonder what dismal event would happen next. Her life was already bad, she doubted it would get any better. 'Will I ever truly find happiness?' Hermione thought absent-mindedly.   
Remus voiced his answer to her distressing question aloud. "True happiness is unachievable." It was Remus' turn to walk to the fireplace mantle and lean his hand on it. "All our lives, Hermione...there will always be something wrong. All my life, I have been dealt the 'two's of the deck. I've become a werewolf, lost all of my close friends, and lived through the Great War. All my life..." Hermione stood and walked over next to him. "Remus, you're disregarding your own words. Sometimes when you lose, you win. You won much in this case. You won the friendship of three incredible men who risked imprisonment to be with you when you transformed. You won knowledge, too. And at least you survived the Great War." "But Hermione, I've lost so much more than I've gained. I've lost all I've ever had. " Remus turned away from her and his head dropped slightly. "You still have me, Remus." "But not for long. My life is like a great Shakespearian tragedy. Everyone has basically been killed off- except for you and me. And I fear that we will go next."   
Hermione turned him around to face her. Remus' eyes were haunted with sorrow and the agony that looked like it could only come from being physically tortured. Hermione smiled sadly and thought, 'Eyes are the windows to our souls.' She pushed a bang of hair back from his forehead and traced the soft edge of his face. She kissed him softly on the cheek and pulled him closer to hug him and stroke the back of his hair. "I know how you feel, I've been there before."   
And with those words, Remus gently pulled himself out of the arms of the woman and turned to occupy his rooms. There, his best friend would become the bottle of firewhiskey he saved for times like these and he would pass out on the floor of his rooms without hopes, dreams, and wishes for the dark future ahead.  
  
Now that that's over with, I can ask you guys a question. Do you want this story to have an actual plot, or do you want it based on romance? Please decide and tell me by reviewing. Speaking of reviews...   
Romancer-4ever: Thank you! I am so flattered! blushes Thanks Emily. I hope you liked this one.   
s.s.harry- Yeah, uh, sorry about that. It was funny for awhile though. Just curious, what does the   
s.s. stand for?   
Rane2920072- That was a little intense wasn't it? I know, I have issues. Thanks for being a   
faithful r&r-er though. ; )   
Chelsea Frog- Thanks! I like the Frog in your name!  
Dracula5555- I hope you thoroughly enjoyed this chapter. Are ya feelin' the Remus/Hermione   
now?  
Sav- Yeah, I know, I so need emotional help. My friends have told me I am insane, and my beta/friend said that I have issues. I know the wife-killing was a little...dark...but I was listening to Metallica so I was just...yeah. But thanks and tell me if you think I'm going OOC on you.  
  



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